Bohemium Avengers Ensemble
by ILOVEQUINT
Summary: Set before The Age of Ultron and during Jurassic park 3 and Jaws. While Alan grant battles for his life on a dinosaur filled island, Quint is desperately fighting his way out the jaws of a 25 foot great white shark, The avengers must assemble once more to fight a force even larger than they ever could have imagined. (Disclaimer: I do not own the whole of Marvel or The Avengers)
1. Chapter 1

The hallowed walls of Asgard stretch high into the cosmos, defiant in their golden splendor; standing the test of countless sieges over eternity, never quaking and never failing - as steadfast as the residents it shelters. Pride is known to be the downfall of many mortal men and it is in this weakness that the true difference between an asgardian and a mortal man is at it's greatest: such a glorious thriving metropolis of gold, thrumming with power would be the chink in a mortal's armor and the envy of monsters ready to prey upon them would be the ultimate downfall.

Asgard is monolithic and undomitable as long as its people stay so themselves - ruling with an ironcast will is Odin, his very veins embrued with this knowledge; this wisdom that can never be denied - and his strength and willpower broils in the hearts of both his sons, Thor of storm and thunder; and Loki of persuasion and cunning. One brutish and headstrong in nature but with an open heart, the other wily and deceptive but with an open mind.

In a recently foiled cataclysmic calamity, Loki with his scarred mutinous heart sits deep within the prisons of Asgard - a winding labrynth deep below the high castle housing all those who dared raise arms against Asgard or its people - the trickster god was beaten and bloodied before being cast away below the feet of all the people he once fought so hard for, beneath the feet of both his father and his brother.

Beneath them.

He feels the same now as he did before his heretic acts - less than all those who once stood by him and looked up to him. An outsider he was born and an outsider he will always be.

Thor pays him regular visits, the two reminiscing and talking of old times - simpler warmongering times before the morals of leadership became theirs to bare. Not once does either shun the other for their differing ideals, nor punishing each other with guilt or spite - brotherhood is the one thing that Loki will never push away and Thor likewise. The two find small comfort in this routine facade in the face of tumultuous adversity; Thor with his pining for Earth and it's comforts and Loki with the anguish of his emprisonment.

Nevertheless, the two brothers are soon to take up arms together: unbeknownst to them, the heroes who staved off destruction once before will be challenged by a new force seeking an answer to its never-satisfied hunger. Loki the traitor and Thor the unruly future king of Asgard will be needed by those helped and hindered back on the unremarkable but tasty planet.


	2. Chapter 2

Earth. A fleeting life filled palace of life. Asgard always had a special place in the hearts of the asgardians for earth, fleeting really. But now earth was to be threatened by a fleeting threat, great a terrificly terrible in it's terribly terrific propotions. The threat which was tremendously fleeting stood (were it to stand and not amorphously float through space and time) over 4 space stories tall, which in human terms is just under 14,000 miles long.

It's name was parallactus, the great and terrifficly terrible devourer and eater of words. And earth was a word and that is why it was in danger from parrallactus because paralactus grew hungry due to it's 1,000 year hunger cycle and so earth was next on the fleeting menu.

Hymendale, the black guy who is all seeing, much like the false gods that the earthers worship, which they falsely perscribe to false gods because they learned of omniscience from hymendale who falsely gave the information to the earthers, falsely. earthers is the name asgardians subscribe to humans by the way.

Anyway, hymendale, given the fact, he is all seeing, saw that parrallactus, who was the devourer of words, was heading to earth, to devourer earth, since earth is a word, and as he, hymendale, was fond of earth, he warned Odin, as odin also liked earth, and therefore was also fond of earth, put in plan, a planning team, who planned a plan, to save earth, which they all planned that they were fond of saving from parrallactus, who was the eater of words, and earth is a word, and this word needing saving. EARTH! was it's name.

 **MEANWHILE ON EARTH**

"Hello, pepper, my name is tony stark" said tony stark to pepper. "yep" responded pepper, intuitively knowing that this was tonies way of initiating sex. Tony loved sex, it was his favourite pleasure in life - very close to his desire to blow up terrorists which he made his incredible fortune off of. "You gotta love what you do" tony remarked during his sexual encounter with pepper while also thinking about his career in blowing up brown desert dwellers. It was perpetually pleasurable to proliferate the purification of pepper's pussy via penile penetration whilst premeditating the pain produced through perverse pummeling of purile and pathetic paedophiles bent on purchasing the penultimate period of the wests peril.


	3. Chapter 3

Pepper sighed as tony came. three minutes in and he had blown his load far too early. She was cross and stormed out of the tower.

Pepper ran.

Naked and alone. what had she done? she had promised steve rodgers that she would leave tone for the winter solder. She wasnt run long be four she met steve rodgers standing loking all sexay in his costume. "oh steve i am so sorry for being naked i didnt meant it look i love you please dont marry jane seymour you are my one and only" steve rodgers burst into tears and ran down the alleyway. "dont go steve i love you stop running."

stve rodgers ran.

Tony stark caught up to pepper ands steve and said "hey baby wear ar you going we where only getting start.

"I knew it you were with him why dont you love me instead how dare you not tell me you were with this hocker" (steve slapped tony stark and then kissed him there lips locking in the warm super heroic embraced.) pepper begans to cry and she ran away sobbing naked and alone. "HULK SMASH YOU INTO TINY PIECES" SAID HULK.

pepper dodged him and then ran. Hulk punched her into the face and pepper became die.

"OH NOES PEPPER IS DEAD " said steve and tony. Hulk took of his short and tie and was now naked too. all of the avengers were naked and both hulk and tony began pounding both of steves gaping holes. "DO IT GUYS SMASH ME" said steve.

Steve got smasheded.

"what are you ding guys why didnt you invite me i am really sad i love you all guys why do you guys not love me" said hawkeye.( Hawkeye began to cry) "shut up hawkeye you are not a good hero you have no power and nobody loves you not even me your wife" said hawkeyes wife who was halfway inside hulks bulging anal cavity.

"Avengers assemble around my cock" said nick furry as they run over to him and all lik furrys balls even hawkeye who didnt like balls because nobody loved him. Nick fury came all over hawkeyes face and the others bullied him because that made him gay and the avengers were homphobic for some reason.

hawkeye ran.

Then phallactus was really cross and killed hawkeye.


	4. Chapter 4

With a mighty roar, Loki brings his spiked halberd down on the back of the sunbeast's neck, thwacking away at the exposed sinew ensanguined from his previous slashes - the creatures have fully-armored bodies that exude extreme thermal gas, poisonous to inhale and scorching to all it touches. It roars and pivots towards him, snapping it's massive jagged teeth together, just reaching short as Loki calmly steps just beynd its reach.

Loki's lungs burn, his godly blood the only thing keeping his lungs from being scorched from the inside out - he wipes away blood streaming from his nose and winces as he tries to regulate his rapid breathing; god or no, it still hurts as the lurid gas sears his throat and lungs.

There is no sign of Thor nor the avengers - he was called here to help with an alien being: the sunbeast was an advanced predatory hulk of a monster, its kind tamed by Asgardians as pets. This feral stray however landed smack-dab in the middle of Canterbury cathedral during the busiest tourist spike in the city's recent history, cast aside from its obliterated (or perhps engulfed?) home planet. Loki had arrived to the screeching of cowaring mortals echoeing in a cacophony off of the regal walls of the sacred place - almost reminicent of Asgard, allbeit much much tinier - and the beast's clacking teeth and tusks on the rows of pews and exhibition stands. It's three-toed feet pistoned through the marble and concrete like nothing as it angrily charged around the halls, leaving massive craters abound the ground; it is one of these that Loki looses his footing in and stumbles.

The Sunbeast's ear prick up alert as it hears Loki's single mistep and it whirls around and onto him, feet poised to stomp him underfoot with all its monstrous bulk.

Nothing is left once the dust clears and the creature grunts and noses the ground beneath its feet. Loki emerges silently from a nearby decorated pillar: his doppelganger had drawn the Sunbeast's attention flawlessly, as always. He readies himself and poises his halberd high, almost upon the confused beast. Aiming at the nape of the neck, the tough fibrous sinews finally slack to allow a fatal strike, Loki inwardly mourns the impending demise of such a valuable creature before effortlessly driving the tip of his halberd straight into the wound.

With nothing but a shudder, the beast falls, rage quenched with death.

"You are as precise a killer as always." a deadly feminine voice mocks. She stands high in the rafters, perhaps behind some statue of a greiving christian, Loki senses - he feels no remorse for his actions against the avengers before, and certainly none towards this harlot.

"At last it seems an avenger has emerged." Loki twirls about, arms wide mimicking her mockery in his own words "It certainly took you mortals long enough. You're alone I take it?" he quirks an eyebrow as he scans up high for any signs of her presence.

An audible clack of heels signals her approach and Loki turns to face her - Black Widow has always entranced him in a way despite his disdain for her and the others. She has a cocky swagger but he knows she retains a quicksilver wit and will never let her guard down.

Although... He is here to help. With an inward curse at his own alterior intentions, Loki forces a shadow of a polite smile and nods his head to her "So what am I here for?"


	5. Chapter 5

"what do you think you're here for, loki? god of being a mischevous little fuck bag... surely your skill set would have obvious implications" retorted Natasha, recognizing the undertones in loki's cool demeanor. "mischevous? is that what you make of me. Doesn't quite seem a fitting description of the being who nearly brought down your entire planet" quipped the being that nearly brought down their entire planet. "meh we were having an off day, I was too busy focussed on imaginary feminist issues in the first world that totally aren't all a made up attempts to curb sympathy due to overactive victim complexes" drooled the widow, go figure. loki decided to go outside for some fresh air, as the fight made his lungs burn, as previously mentioned, and having fresh air would help, and going outside would enable his lungs to take in fresh air, as that is where fresh air resides. outside.

Loki ran.

Outside.

Black window climbed out the widow to follow loik, worried about his sudden evacuation from the building, as a sudden evacuation from a building is a startling thing to witness. In 9/11 when people were suddenly evacuating, nobody saw them and just continued working. and this is why scarlett also left, because she too, like the victims of 9/11, was worried... about the building, among other things, like loki, who she followed out, as previously mentioned. LOKI! was his name.

"Loki, why are you run furm build?" mueled the quim "BITCH!" loki intelligently retorted in that sexy as fuck fucking way he fucking talks OH GOD HE'S SO SEXY AHHHH (authors note). "calling me a bitch is no way to get what you want... or is it?" Natasha winks as she confusingly SPEAKETH! "I am very eloquent and people respect the fuck outta me even though i'm a mass murderer (insert clever and sexy thing to say to what she said in Tom Hiddleston's voice)" Loki sexily SPEAKETH UNTO THE WINDOW!

Scarlett begins to unbutton her leather zip up suit which has no buttons. Loki, confused by her random hand motions occuring infront of her breasts, decides to drop his cape and crown into a magic hole he opened up earlier in this story. Who knows where that hole goes? maybe reading between the lines is a way you can learn more of this hole? who knows...

Loki takes his pink melon shirt off to reveal his 8 tantalizing frost giant breasts, each so large and tender, dripping with blue frost giant milk, good for the whole family. Scarlett cannot handle her spider like sex lust anymore, and she are sexed up, and she are tear his panties off, and she are take his whole penus in mouth, and she are suck all cum out of penus, and she are happy gril. Happy HAPPEH gril.

Then Natasha wakes from her day dream, to see loki standing in front of her with the look of menace, happiness, guilt, anxiety, and constipation on his chest. "Natasha, what am I here for?" calmly, steadily, and FUCKING sexily he whispers. Natasha tries to regain her focus, her thought. She gulps down the fear dancing at the back of her throat and says "you're here to help us defeat Parrallactus".


	6. Chapter 6

Hulk clenched as he shot his enormous load all over hawkeyes corpse. The sight of clint bartons mutilated corpse made hulk enormously horny. as he came he clenched his asshole snaping hawkeyes wife in halfed; Hulk farted propelling hawkeyes wifes corpse so hard out of his green poo hole that it killed 2000 people in an explosion.

Hulk Run.

The avengers got dressed and ensambled in the meeting room to discuss the giant plannet eating monster that had appeared during their orgy and deaded hawkeye.

"oh no what are we going to do how do we stop it do you have any ideas tony you have to think of something tony cany you help with that tony is that clear tony".

"shut up lol" said tony as he flew off in his flying suit that enabled him to fly around whilst flying in his flying suit. " i love flying" tony said whilst flying.

"oh no tony is flieing again in his flying uit that lets him fly" said coulson who had filmed the orgy. " I AM GOING TO DEVOUR YOU TONY STARK" said the phalactus. "avengers ensemble said tony" Hawkeyes corpse gets up and tries to move then he realises he is dead and he cant move so he go back to am die.

phalactus shoots giant lasers out of his eyes killing the prime minister of the united states of.A. "oh no we dont have a ladder anymore who will lad us? and shield gave up hiding in the secret undergroud bunker they just made. "HEY DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO BEAT PHALACTUS" SAID STEVE ROGERS TO THE COWERING MASSES. HULK JUMPED FROM THE BUILDING AND PUNCHED PHALACTUS IN THE BALLS CAUSING HIM TO HAVE A NOSEBLEED. hulk whipped the blood from his nose and began to charge at phalactus again.

Hulk ran.

Phalactus got out his massive phallus and slapped tony out of the sky crushing most of his bones. "DO IT THOR MJOLFUCK THIS BADDIE!" said thor. Thor shot mjolnir up phalactus bottom and phalctus cried in pain "ow i am in pain" phallactus winced.

"whats going on here?" black window said seeming to teleport from nowhere for the sake of plot conveinience "oh look hawkeye is dead lol i hate that guy he didnt even have any powers lol" said black window. Black window shot her gun at phalactus causing phalactus to blled alot and run away crying

phalactus run.

"welldont avengers you did really good im glad you were hear to do such a good job well done on a good job you guys did well done good job" said nick fury. Jane setymour was really crossed that thor had not fucked her and she jumped off of the building landing on her feet perfectly not deading at all "oh damn im not deaded, now i have to see thor again sad face"


End file.
